dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
