Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
