She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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