take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I FOUND THE LEGS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize