woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Randomize
