omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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