Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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