i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
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Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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