We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
