Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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