Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
