Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize