The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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