that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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