Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
