Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Oh god it's open bar.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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