Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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