After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
