My cat gives me a boner
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
