i permit you to call me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
