cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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