somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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