i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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