is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
