I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
