Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
