She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Nicole vs. Life
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
