Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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