I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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