apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
