i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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