Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
