She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
