Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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