I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
