Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
