I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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