I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
