i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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