Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
