I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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