My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
