i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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