He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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