Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
