what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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