yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
