I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
