That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
