i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
