HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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