I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
