that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
