I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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