mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize