is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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