whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
