I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
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shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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