Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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