I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize