So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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