The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
