It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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