Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
