This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hippo gnu deer
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
