Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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