When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
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I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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