So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
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I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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