Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
