We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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