Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize