i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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